One
of the questions we are most frequently asked by friends and family is
simple but often leads to a surprising answer. The question: “So where are ya’ll now?”.
Quite frankly it’s a good question seeing that it’s often easier to find
"Where's Waldo" in a book than it is to figure out where we are currently located on planet earth.
If I had to describe the last six or seven years of our life in one word it would be: "whirlwind".
Whirlwind romance turned to whirlwind wedding all while simultaneously
attending two schools and living cross country. Over the past
several years Ward and I have collectively traveled to six different
countries and lived in eight locations each time changing addresses,
phone numbers, banks, etc. We've started jobs and have had to end them
just as quickly. We've helped develop ministries, and led
outreaches both in America and overseas. It has been an accelerated time
of learning and
equipping, but to be honest it’s been quite exhausting! This year has
been no exception.
Every moment you invest into an area, a people, a
ministry,
an organization you are giving pieces of your heart, your love, and your
life.
No matter how much we travel, no matter where we go or how long we stay
there
Ward and I always leave a piece of ourselves behind. No matter where we
are, as the plane leaves the runway we feel like we are leaving "home".
Mexico, Thailand, South Africa, Cambodia... America. We have never found a people group
that we don’t love and that’s why we are so passionate about bringing God’s
love to the nations. Living in Cambodia was one of the greatest
experiences of my
life but I can also honestly say that it was the absolute hardest thing I
have
ever done. Though it may not be for the reasons you think. Yes living in a chaotic
city with no traffic
laws, government regulations, and over 2 million people takes it’s toll
(especially if you’re accustomed to
living in Wallace). Yes, being immersed in a new culture and a new
language has
it’s disadvantages; and yes, trying to hunt down food that won’t give
you a bacterial infection does get a little old. But all of that becomes
"normal" when you are there long enough. You grow in relationship with
the people, you learn to like the food, you get used to being hot every
waking hour of the day. It doesn't take long for you to assimilate into
the culture, but what IS hard is seeing the people
that you love suffer, and not being able to do a thing
about it.
Cambodia is a
broken nation in many ways and Ward and I are only two people. Day in
and day
out we devoted our time, love, and energy to those around us in great
need. But the thought “we can’t save them all” is a heavy weight
and it wore me down and overwhelmed me. When you love a nation and long to see God's
love and salvation touch every heart and life how do you choose which
ones to share hope and salvation with and which ones do you just walk
past?
".... He does not want anyone to perish but for everyone to come to repentance."
-2 Peter 3:9
To be real with you, this summer I was not in
a good place. I was tired, and feeling empty emotionally, physically and spiritually. We had poured out all of our love and in Cambodia it is difficult to find a place to get refilled. Over
the past year I had become very attached to the Khmer people,
especially the children I had been caring for on a daily basis. We
became great friends, and I loved each one deeply, I felt like they were
my very own. My heart broke for all of them, and I wanted nothing more
than to scoop them up and bring them home with me. As I came to the
realization that this wouldn't be possible I was deeply grieved. What do
you do when you love someone so much but have no way to help them? I
didn't know what to do, loving on them daily and watching them go home
with empty bellies and no bed to sleep in broke my heart in ways I can
never put into words. I started breaking down and I desperately needed a
break. I needed some time to rest my burden that I had been carrying
for the
Cambodian people. That’s when we decided to come back to the U.S. for a
visit and I attended Living Waters Ministry’s “Healing the
Heart” retreat in the mountains of North Carolina. To be honest with
you, I had very little expectation that this
would make any impact at all. I felt like I was at my breaking point and
had
little hope that this would soothe the pain I was feeling and the grief I
felt for "my kids". All I could think of was the people we would daily
pass on the street, the kids and women in the slums, the old man on the
side of the road... and I was overcome once again by the thoughts of
"how are the two of us supposed to help an entire nation?". I felt
defeated, but knew that I couldn't give up.
When God shows you
His heart for His people it doesn't matter how difficult the situation
is, His love drives you on. His love and passion keeps you going even
when the task seems impossible. He gives you just a glimpse at how
deeply He loves each one of us, and how passionate He is that each one
of us become part of His family. That every.... single... one..... has
infinite value and worth, and you just know that you can't possibly give
up.
I
came into the retreat with a heavy burden, and a very empty heart. All I
wanted was a glimmer of hope, not just for them but for me too. I
needed something that could keep me going. Often times in our darkest
hour, when we come to the end of ourselves, God not only meets us there
but begins knitting together something that is extraordinary. That is
exactly where I was, at the end of my rope, the end of myself, and I had
given up on hope.....
I
cannot begin to explain the way that God loved on and encountered me
during that retreat. I found a renewed hope and healing for my burdened
heart. The words and teachings led by Pastor Lee and Pastor Denise spoke
directly to me and began bringing revelation to questions that I had
been searching for for years. I began to feel alive again. As the
weekend came to a close Pastor's Lee and Denise saw our need for rest as
well as our passion and our desperation for more of what God was doing.
They invited us to continue our journey and to stay with them as we
found rest for our souls.
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. "
-Matthew 11:28
For
those of you who are not familiar with Living Waters, this is a retreat
ministry located in the foothills of North Carolina. Their focus is
"healing the heart and restoring families". They share keys on how pain
from the past can prevent us from receiving the fullness of God's
unfailing love. Their focus is on leading individuals through healing so
that they can contain a greater measure of God's unending love which
not only brings freedom to the individual but also brings restoration to
the family.
Initially
I thought we were just visiting Living Waters so that we could be
refreshed and be able to go back to the mission field and continue
sharing God's love with the Khmer people. But God always has a bigger
plan that begins to unfold when you least expect it. He has
continuously reminded me in this season of how He orders our steps and
how He works all things together so that we can fulfill our God given
purposes. Pastor's Lee and Denise have been in ministry for
more than thirty years, have ministered to thousands of people, and yet
they felt impressed by the Lord for us to be here. So I began to ask God
the question: "why us?" knowing that there was more to this
relationship than I understood.
Think
for a minute. If I gave you some wood, some nails, and a pillow and
told you to build a table what would you do? You can try hitting the
nails with the pillow for as long and as hard as you would like, but the
goal that you were given would never be accomplished. The only result
would be complete and utter exhaustion. It works the same way in life,
God gave us a vision, but we lacked the proper tools to accomplish it
and we were exhausted from trying. One of our greatest frustrations and
heart aches in Cambodia was "what do we have to give these people?".
Walking the streets we could see that every single person needs some
kind of extreme miracle in their life. What did we have to give? Money
can help but it is only a quick fix that doesn't last, it doesn't give
hope and it doesn't restore lives. Ministry of course is the goal, but
how many can the two of us minister to? Can we touch every soul in the
nation and not burn out in the process? And while the gospel is
ultimately the greatest gift you can give, we found ourselves lacking
the tools to help people break past their protective walls in order to
gain understanding and experience God's unfailing love.
So why did we go to Cambodia in the first place?
Did
we misinterpret what God was saying? No, absolutely not. Our time in
Cambodia this year was necessary in order to gain understanding of the
needs in the nation and we have experienced much fruit from our time
there. Being able to go and experience first hand the life, the culture,
and the people not only gave us insight to their needs but also set a
passion in our hearts to see them healed. We were able to see the
hopelessness and burdens that the people live with daily. Going there
and experiencing the extent of this hurt first hand was heartbreaking
and overwhelming but God knew exactly what was needed in order to ignite
a passion inside of us to find solutions. Coming to Living Waters was
exactly where God wanted us to go in order to be equipped with the tools
to heal the pain they have experienced and it is the key to setting
the captives free among the nations.
As we spent time at Living Waters God began renewing our passion and started birthing a vision and dream
in us that far exceeded any of our expectations. We realized that there
was far more to this adventure than just our own personal ministry and
refilling. God was aligning our steps in a way that only He can
accomplish and it is all a necessary preparation for our next season.
As
you know, every person is different. Each individual's circumstances
are never the same as someone else. There isn't a one size fits all
statement that can minister to the pain of every individual, especially
when you are dealing with such extreme cases like genocide and
trafficking. Learning to minister to this level of pain is going to
take time and a lot of intensive training. Living Waters has given us
the opportunity to intern with them at their retreat center so that over
a period of time we will be able to learn how to minister to people in
these deep places of brokenness. We feel so blessed to have this
opportunity and are incredibly excited for how God is going to use it.
What's Happening in Cambodia Now?
Ward and I
are still maintaining connections with our friends and contacts in
Cambodia. Ward is continuing to mentor the young man (Lahn) that we
have mentioned in our previous blogs. Lahn is growing quickly in his
relationship with the Lord. He is passionate about learning more and
going deeper in His walk with Christ, and he is growing bolder with each
passing day. Lahn has been hired full time to continue ministering to
the Cambodian people. Ward is able to talk to him online almost daily
and we have set up curriculum and accountability for him so that he can
continue in his spiritual walk. He is on fire for God and has been
preaching the gospel in the schools, slums, and even in the prisons! We
are continuously amazed at his boldness and willingness to follow the
Lord at all costs. We are extremely proud and will continue to keep you
updated on what is happening on ground in Cambodia.
 |
| Lahn with the children in the slums |
Since
we are not currently on ground in Cambodia we are no longer working
directly with XP Missions but we are maintaining our relationships with
those we know and love on ground and are so excited to hear
of all the wonderful things that they are accomplishing for the Kingdom. We look forward
to partnering in outreach with them in the future. If you would like to
stay involved in intercession for the XP Missions team you can sign up
to receive weekly prayer emails on their website.
What Are We Doing Now?
Ward and I are living and interning with Living
Waters Ministry in Hiddenite N.C. helping and growing in every way that we can.
I've heard that teaching is more easily "caught" than "taught", so we
are spending every moment we can trying to absorb what the Lord is doing
here through their ministry. We are planning to visit Cambodia in 2016 to check
in with Lahn and begin putting to action what we are learning here. Most
importantly we have finally gotten an answer to our most important
questions:
1) How can just the two of us impact a nation?
2) What do we have that we can give to others?
The
answer is.... we can't! No matter how deep our burden is for Cambodia
we can't do it on our own. So what's the plan? God has given us a vision
to take the Healing the Hearts curriculum and materials to church
leaders among the nations, starting with Cambodia. The church we
attend in Cambodia has over three hundred church plants throughout the
nation. God has placed a dream inside of us to connect with these
churches and to teach and equip their leaders in ministering the
"Healing the Heart" materials. We are passionate to see an army of
healthy and whole people who are filled with God's love spreading it
from nation to nation. We firmly believe that God has called us to this
ministry for such a time as this, and is broadening our vision and
giving us the tools to see "on earth as it is in heaven".
We
are still in full time ministry as we are
continuously working through the Living Waters Materials by attending
retreats,
schools, working on and editing new books and materials, as well as
maintaining and growing in relationship with the Pastors here. God is
expanding our vision each day and we are gaining more understanding as
to why God has allowed us to be here. We are taking this time very
seriously and know that is essential to be able to impact those in
ministry in our future.
We
are still in partnership with Kingdom Builders church
and are still on staff as the church's missionaries. We are on one
accord with Pastor Brad and we feel that this is exactly what God is
doing in this
season to bring about our vision of spreading the gospel and raising up
leaders in Cambodia as well as other nations. We are
working together on strategies to better partner with Living Waters as
well as how to continue our impact in Cambodia.
For
those of you who have partnered with us in prayer and in finances
during this journey we want to extend a deep appreciation. It has been
an extremely stretching and challenging year in many areas of our life
and without you we would not have been able to make it through. We ask
that you continue to pray for us as we are learning and growing in how
to equip others with this vision. Pray for our continued breakthrough
and understanding of the Living Waters materials and how we can apply it
to missions. Please also be in prayer for Lahn and our friends in
Cambodia as they continue pressing forward and bringing light into the
darkness there.
If
you would like to continue to sow financially into our ministry both to
help support us here as we are being equipped to go back on the
missions field OR to support Lahn's salary as he works full time in
Cambodia it is much appreciated. Funds can be sent through:
Kingdom
Builders Church: through the church offering, mail, or via their
website. Please make sure any funds are clearly marked for "Missions".
These funds go to help support us during our time of training here at
Living Waters, it supports Lahn's salary, as well as future travel
to/from Cambodia, along with cost for outreaches when we go later this
year.
If you
would like to support us during our time volunteering funds can also be
sent directly to us through the mail or our Paypal account:
Our address is:
Living Waters Ministry
4803 Old Vashti Road
Hiddenite NC 28636
Attention: Ward and Hillary Farrior
We
firmly believe that this is the key to unlocking breakthrough in not
only Cambodia, but also in America and we are very excited to see the
fullness of what God has planned as we continue walking in obedience to
Him. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We can't wait to
see all that God is going to do this coming year.
Love and Blessings,
Hillary and Ward Farrior
